The Long Island Mega Blog

Who dates on the Internet? Who admits it?  Well for starters I do.  I have been dating on the Internet for over 5 years now and I have to say I have learned alot about myself and about men and dating.  When I was younger i didn’t date all that much, not that I was shy, just didn’t seem to find anyone who wanted to date me.  Men always wanted to be my friend not my boyfriend.  I’m sure some of you are actually nodding your head right now saying , yup been there done that got the t-shirt.  Well even if you’re not follow along and maybe you will be by the time this sets of blogs are done.

I used to go out to karaoke all the time with my friends but like I said all the guys I met wanted to be my friend or I was afraid to ask them to hang out because I would always think they would say no or they were not looking for someone like me.  Well it seemed all the men I met in bars or at karaoke were looking for the next Cindy Crawford or someone model thin.  Well that is not me.  So I started thinking where could I look for a guy to accept me as who I was and go out and have some fun.  So I found the Internet and Internet dating sites.

Trust me when I tell you it is not as easy as I make it sound here.  There are still plenty of guys looking for model thin women but then there are multitudes of guys who are not.  I was shocked at how many men wanted to talk to and date me.  Some still just wanted a one night fling but some were actually looking for someone like me to be their girlfriend or possibly more.  I can tell you that I was overwhelmed at the beginning and loving all the attention. What woman in her right mind would not?  Especially if you are usually the one standing in the background when guys come up to talk to your friends. Now i had a whole new problem  how to tell the difference  between the real nice guy and the creep and how to meet these men safely.  I personally devised a sort of plan I would like to share with you that always kept me out of serious trouble and helped me to meet these men and find out for sure.

 First step: Make sure your profile says what you are and are not looking for.  If you are not looking to just hook up with some random guy say so.  I used the line that I am open to an adult relationship just not with every adult.  Be creative but be honest.  If you are looking to just hook up for some fun that is okay too just make sure you follow the rest of the steps to make sure you are where you want to be and with whom and that you make the choice and are never forced into anything.

Step two: Move the conversation off the site to a messenger if you have one then you can chat one on one and not be interrupted.  Also you can chat for more than one day if you want to find out more about the person before deciding if you want to meet them.  If you or they do not have a messenger program like yahoo or msn or aim then you can move right to step three.

Step three: Talk on the phone but never give out your home number, addresses can be found using reverse look-up.  Always give a cell or get their number and call them. This goes for men as well as women. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation but it should be some sort of a conversation. Remember if you can’t talk on the phone, you can’t talk in person and its a waste of both of your time.

Step four: Always see a picture before you agree to meet.  Otherwise he can just show up and leave and you would never know.  I had it happen to me.  Also you need to show your picture, a real picture of you.  Let them see who they are meeting, if they don’t like the picture they won’t want to meet.  Saves you a lot of time and heartbreak.  It also makes it easier to find each other if you decide to meet.

Step five: Always pick a neutral meeting ground like a diner, a coffeehouse, or even a bar but make it somewhere you are comfortable.  NEVER EVER EVER give them your home address or allow someone to pick you up there or at your job until you have known them for sometime.  I mean if he turns out to be a creep or worse do you really want him knowing where you live?

Step six: Always tell someone where you are going and when.  Try to have a code phrase you can call them with to let them know if you feel uncomfortable or in danger of any kind.   Make it something not obvious to the other person but that your friend immediately knows you need help.  If you are really nervous have your friend call you about a half hour into the date to check on you.  I did it that way for like the first year till I was more comfortable with the whole process.  Thanks Susie for always being there.

Step seven: At the date be yourself.  If you hit it off great work from there.  if you don’t that’s okay too but always try to be polite cause we all know how hard it is to be rejected.  If you really hit it off and want to go somewhere else like a movie or even dancing always take your car and have them take theirs or if you feel comfortable around them and want to go together go in your car. Then you can never be left anywhere with no way to get home.

Step eight: If you are into each other and want to keep dating do the meeting thing for at least 3-5 dates.  Meaning you meet them where you are going in your car and do not let them come pick you up.  My personal threshold is 6 dates or 2 months whichever comes last.  It never hurts to be cautious and any guy or girl worth dating will understand that.  Especially if you are a female with all the horror stories you hear about.  It is always better to be safe than sorry as the old saying goes.

Well that’s all for now.  i know its a really long first blog and I hope you all got something out of it.  I hope to be adding some stories of things that have happened to me both the good and bad.  I know Internet dating can be scary, I have met some scary guys but I also met some guys who are still friends and nice people just not the guy for me. I personally know 3 different couples who have met and gotten married because of the Internet and they are all still together and happy.  I haven’t found mine yet but I will keep on looking and hopefully find my Prince charming but until I do I will take you along on part of the journey and hope you can learn something or at least get a laugh.